


You Have No Idea What You're Doing To Me

by naxcissique



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies), Pitch Perfect RPF
Genre: Chaubrey - Freeform, Comedy, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Mitchsen - Freeform, Romance, Triple Treble - Freeform, bechloe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 01:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6403087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naxcissique/pseuds/naxcissique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What turns Aubrey, Beca and Chloe on? A collection of one-shots on the weirdest things that get these ladies worked up. Established Triple Treble/ABC with a lot of Bechloe and Mitchsen moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beca: Français

Beca had just taken off her boots at the doorway when she heard an angry voice from the living room.

" _Non, je ne suis pas venue à la maison. C'est finale!"_ While unsure about the language, the frustrated huff told Beca that the speaker was Aubrey. Chloe stomped her foot when she was annoyed.

But wait, her Aubrey spoke a foreign language?

"Oh, Papa will be fine. He told me, in no uncertain terms, not to show my face in there ever again. _Ce n'est pas quelque chose que je peux facilement oublier._ Yes, yes, I am eating well. Don't worry about me, Mama."

Beca proceeded to the living room. Sure enough, there was Aubrey, pacing like a caged lion while holding her phone to her ear. She looked up, saw Beca, and shook her head. Beca hugged her from behind and kissed the back of her neck. To say the blonde was tense was an understatement.

_"Non, non_ , Mama. _Bien sûr, vous pouvez garder m'appeler,"_ Aubrey spoke into the phone. She listened some more, and nodded. _"S'il vous plaît prendre soin de vous. Au revoir."_ She tossed the phone on the couch and turned to Beca. "Hey, babe."

"Hey," Beca answered back, settling on the couch and pulling Aubrey onto her lap. "You okay?"

Aubrey closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Yes. My mom was nagging me to come to another family reunion. I don't want to talk about it right now. Can we change the topic?"

Beca shrugged. "Right. Three...two...one...change topic. You speak French?!"

Aubrey smiled for the first time since she finished her phone call. "Beca, I'm from Vermont. You can't expect to live there and not pick up your neighbors' language. And my mom's from Quebec."

"I know that, but...Oh, _god._ Can you get even more perfect, Bree?"

"Don't let Chloe hear you say that, she'll be jealous."

"Psh, Chloe knows she's awesome. Do you have something else to confess?"

Chuckling, Aubrey tucked a strand of brown hair behind the DJ's ear. "I'm a bad girl, please spank me?"

Beca rolled her eyes. "We all know that. I mean, are you a super spy or something?"

Aubrey only gave her a light kiss on the nose. " _Oh merde, vous gâché ma couverture."_

"Dude, no!" Beca laughed, dumping Aubrey beside her on the couch. "Don't say another word in French, Posen. You have no idea what it's doing to me."

Beca's gray-blue eyes were considerably darker, and Aubrey saw her chance to tease her girlfriend. She crawled into Beca's lap, straddling her and cupping her face. _"Qu'allez-vous faire à ce sujet?"_ she whispered right into the brunette's ear before nibbling her earlobe, and she almost cackled when Beca gulped audibly.

"Fuck, Bree. You're a tease! Does this drive Chloe crazy too?"

"Trust me, Chloe's turn-ons are way, _way_ different than yours." Aubrey pulled back and winked, and Beca squirmed at the thought of their other girlfriend being seduced by the blonde. Aubrey immediately noted the change in Beca's breathing, and her smile became even more predatory.

"I mean it, woman. Not another word. We still have to make dinner for Red."

"Oh, this is the best dinner we could ever serve Chloe." Aubrey planted kisses down the side of Beca's throat. " _Baise-moi_."

Beca didn't have to know French to understand that one. In one swift movement, she gathered Aubrey in her arms and pinned her back on the couch.


	2. Chloe: Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a feeling you'll love this one.

There's no point trying to hide the fact that Chloe's turned on by music.

She fell in love with Beca the moment she heard her sing in the shower. And she became sure she loves Aubrey when the blonde started humming - of all the songs in the world - _Food, Glorious Food_ from _Oliver_ while driving home from a party during freshman year.

So it took all of her strength not to leap at the stage and kiss Beca right then and there. Beca's manager finally convinced Beca to have a one-man concert, predicting everyone will love her, and she couldn't be more right. The tickets to the DJ's concert were sold out within three days.

Of course, Aubrey and Chloe had VIP seats right in front. They applauded madly along with the rest of the audience when Beca finished singing one of her more upbeat compositions. Chloe couldn't keep from fidgeting in her seat.

"Jesus, Chlo," Aubrey said sternly, slapping her bare thigh. "Keep it together."

"You know you can't wait to be all over her too, you're just better at hiding it!" Chloe growled, adjusting her dress. Aubrey only smiled at her girlfriend and took her hand to calm her down.

Onstage, Beca was thanking people for coming, and called up those who made the concert possible. Included in the people who went up the stage were Cynthia Rose, who helped write some tracks; Jesse, who worked with Beca for the musical arrangements; and her manager, Diane.

Just then Beca announced that they were down to the last song of the evening. The crowd booed, obviously not wanting the concert to end, and Beca only laughed.

"I cannot end my very first concert without acknowledging the ladies who have encouraged me to continue doing this in the first place. Because of that, I'll be singing a very special song. The very first one I have ever sung to my girlfriends."

Beca looked at Aubrey and Chloe fondly and the audience went wild, while the huge LED screen beside the stage showed the two's pleased reactions. "When I met them I wasn't exactly charming –" Aubrey laughed because she remembered how Beca recoiled when she called her a bitch – "but, you know, this song kind of changed my awful first impression. I hope you enjoy it as much as they will."

And just like that, Beca winked at Chloe and Aubrey and plopped down cross-legged on the stage right in front of the two. Backup dancers came in and mimicked her pose on a line behind her. The crowd didn't quite know what to expect, until Beca and the dancers pulled yellow plastic cups out of nowhere and began tapping it on a complicated rhythm on the floor. Beca started singing. Everyone's faces were rapt with attention and the whole stadium fell quiet except for her music.

_I got my ticket for the long way 'round_  
Two bottles whiskey for the way  
And I sure would like some sweet company  
And I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?

Then the sound of acoustic guitars and bongos suddenly rose from the orchestra. Beca stood up, took one of the guitars from the musicians, and started plucking. The sound was nothing short of heavenly.

_When I'm gone_  
When I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me by my hair  
You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

"Chloe?" Aubrey inquired in a strangled voice.

"What?" The redhead was transfixed, staring at the brunette onstage like she was the Second Coming or something.

"Please don't break my hand; I still need it to write legal briefs and equally-mind blowing documents."

Chloe looked down and realized she was crushing Aubrey's hand in her own. "Shit, babe! Sorry!"

"No worries," Aubrey assured, massaging her hand and giving Chloe a light kiss on the cheek. "I'll leave you to watch Munchkin in peace."

Onstage, Beca had traded the guitar for a keytar. Seeing the new instrument, everyone cheered wildly.

_I've got my ticket for the long way 'round_  
The one with the prettiest of views  
It's got mountains, it's got rivers, it's got sights to give you shivers  
But it sure would be prettier with you

By the time Beca ran to the center of the stage and sat to play drums, the crowd was insane – especially Chloe, whose hand was firmly clutching Aubrey's arm. Aubrey tried not to tell Chloe off and distracted herself instead by cheering.

_When I'm gone_  
When I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me by my walk  
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

Beca stood up as the dancers did some pretty complicated choreography for the instrumental part. "Alright, what else do you guys want to see me play?"

The crowd yelled out several suggestions, but Beca took a microphone, went down the stage and maneuvered through the people wrangling to touch her until she reached her girlfriends' seats.

"Violin!" Chloe shouted breathlessly into the microphone. Everyone clapped at the answer.

"Saxophone!" Aubrey said a little less forcefully than Chloe, but with a wide grin on her face. At this, the clapping only got louder.

"Your wish is my command!" Beca climbed the stage, took a saxophone, and the melodious strains she drew out in tune with the instrumental practically ruined Chloe's panties. She rocked herself back and forth and put on her most innocent face, hiding the fact that she was rubbing her pussy on her chair. It helped that the VIP seats in Staples Center were spacious.

Aubrey put a hand on Chloe's thigh, trying to get her to stay still. "Chloe Beale, you're not trying to get yourself off in public, are you?"

"What? No!"

Aubrey rolled her eyes. "I can't imagine what you'd do the moment Beca plays the violin."

The moment Beca played the violin, Aubrey knew. Chloe took Aubrey's hand up to her lips and bit the inside of her wrist so hard the blonde clawed Chloe's arm with her other hand to keep from screaming.

"Chloe!" she hissed, trying not to wince. Chloe only shook her head no and bit harder, her blue eyes imploring and heady.

"If I get tetanus you will have to fix me up, Chloe Beale," Aubrey snapped, trying to yank her hand away, but Chloe held on to it steadily.

"Babe, I swear, if you take this away from me I will slip my fingers down to my underwear for the whole stadium to see." Chloe's voice was husky, making Aubrey shiver, and she willingly thrust her wrist back to Chloe because she wouldn't put it past the redhead to do what she just said.

_When I'm gone_  
When I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me by my walk  
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

The stage erupted with lights and colorful fireworks, signaling the end of the show, and everyone gave Beca a standing ovation, cheering themselves hoarse. Chloe finally let go of Aubrey's hand and pulled her girlfriend up, clapping wildly as if nothing happened.

"Good night, Los Angeles!" Beca yelled, waving as she stepped on some contraption that lowered on the ground, taking her backstage.

"WHOOO, BECA! MY SOUL IS YOURS FOREVER!"

"Chloe!" Aubrey scolded, trying not to falter under the amused glances of Jay-Z and Beyonce, who were sitting behind them. _  
_

"WE LOVE YOU BECA! SIGN MY BOOB!"

_"CHLOE!"_

* * *

Beca tried to look over the heads of the people backstage swarming to congratulate her. She let out a sigh of relief when she finally spotted her manager, Diane. Diane was efficient as fuck, with her ramrod posture and calculating expression – she should be, because Aubrey chose her in the first place – but now she looked an equal mix of exhilarated and, strangely, embarrassed.

"Hey!" Beca slipped through the throng of admirers and caught up with Diane. "Diane!"

Diane turned around and gave her a hug. "Congratulations! I hope this makes you listen to me more in the future."

Beca grinned. "Thanks. And you definitely get last say from now on. Have you seen my ladies?"

Diane reddened. "Uh, that."

"What?"

Diane lowered her voice and looked anywhere but at Beca. "They said they'll be waiting in the limo."

Beca frowned at Diane's scarlet face. "Why are you blushing?"

"Uh, Ms. Beale may have said something about, uh, giving you thirty minutes to say your goodbyes and stuff, or else they're going to, uh, start without you. Please don't ask."

" _Diane._ Start what?"

If anything, Diane went a deeper shade of red. "Clam jousting."

"WHAT?!"

"I'm quoting Ms. Beale verbatim," Diane whispered, suddenly finding her wristwatch interesting. "She said she'd make my boobs concave if I don't. I, uh, I can make excuses for you. I think you should get there. The last time I looked Ms. Beale was, umm, humping Ms. Posen's knee."

Beca didn't know whether to laugh or sympathize with her manager's discomfiture. "Did Ms. Posen seem like a willing participant?"

" _Beca_."

Beca snickered and gave her a pat on the back. "Thanks again, D. I'll let you know how the carpet munching goes!"

Diane only gagged in response.

**Author's Note:**

> "Non, je ne suis pas venue à la maison. C'est finale!" No, I am not coming home. That's final!
> 
> "Ce n'est pas quelque chose que je peux facilement oublier." This is not something that I can easily forget.
> 
> "Non, non, Mama. Bien sûr, vous pouvez garder m'appeler." No, no, Mama. Of course you can keep calling me.
> 
> "S'il vous plaît prendre soin de vous. Au revoir." Please take care of yourself. Goodbye.
> 
> "Oh merde, vous gâché ma couverture." Oh shit, you blew my cover.
> 
> "Qu'allez-vous faire à ce sujet?" What are you going to do about it?
> 
> "Baise-moi." Fuck me.
> 
> ***
> 
> I used Google Translate for the first chapter. So if something seems off, feel free to tell me and we'll fix it.
> 
> Expect this to be pure crack fic, though I can't promise smut as of the moment. Rated T as of the moment for suggestive things. R&R and enjoy!


End file.
